A Feeling of Lost Inclusion

 

A difficult feeling to experience you would think, one I had never felt before, another first to add to the collection.
At my welcome party reception while the teachers are so nice and so very interested in where I am from, what I do, what I like and enjoy ect, English is often not their preferred language. At dinner when they are relaxed, speaking english is probably a great task and effort for them, a job. Often I found myself sitting alone surrounded by a sea of noises, unable to understand a word of Japanese it was like listening to a musical intrument. It is a feeling of intense isolation, not necessarily a bad feeling just complete and 100% isolation. You belong to their dinner, their conversation but you cannot become a part of it. I found myself waiting for them to laugh and I would just join in and hope for the best. Sitting and not laughing would draw far more attention or so my survival instinct believed!  For several minutes on end a conversation would flow without even a worried glance from one of them to check if I was looking scared, it was a normal thing for them not to constantly worry about my inclusion. But I was there in the very middle of it all and happy to experinence the odd sensation!

My ‘big sister’ Bec took me on an amazing road trip up the western peninsuala of Aomori Prefecture on my first weekend, saw some breathtaking views of rural Japanese country side and got some great pics!

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